Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Genesis 2 !!!

So I am back.

Not that many would care, but hey, I have a small story to tell, and I’m going to tell it.

Where were we?

Oh yeah, First step on the treadmill.

The first day, I enjoyed it. ‘Coz I was busy watching some sports on the LCD wall and was amazed that I had continuously used the treadmill for 20 mins. Achievement !!!By the end of those 20 mins, I was sweating like a mad bull. And it felt AWESOME. Trust me, people say that working out makes you feel good, Until that day, I thought they were dented in the head, HOW can hard work make ANYONE feel good (ideology of the couch potatoes..) But that day, I actually smiled. I understood the logic of the feel-good factor.

And then, I was taken by my trainer to some machines which involved Leg Press and curling.

Earlier, When you wanted to build leg muscles, the old trainers from the gym would put a barbell on ur neck and say SQUAT!! Trust me, its an alien feeling of pain and disgust to see yourself in the mirror squatting like a dingbat.

Which reminds me of an uncle who had a fascination for making me sit on an IMAGINARY Chair for 5 mins, with my back against the wall. The memories are still painful.
So the Squatting was spared, instead, 21st century machines for sculpting your body were around.

The leg press was where you sat on a chair, mounted on a rail. There is a big footboard in front of you, and the machine’s weight selector on your right. I selected the appropriate weight for a beginner, 30 kg (Its quite a bit actually, for the first day, as I learnt the next morning, BUT HEY, I was eager to get along and get this over with.) And I put my legs up on the footboard. And my trainer stood right next to me. He helped me adjust my back and told me to grasp the handles below the chair for support. Alllrighty then !! Done…

You ever have that instance when you think you are doing something and suddenly you become conscious of yourself and realize you look weird as hell and wanna die??

Well, Once I had put my feet on the foot board, I suddenly felt, “Hey I’ve seen this position somewhere before.” And my trainer said the magic word, “PUSH !!”
And all of a sudden, the gym had disappeared, My surrounding was a Labour ward and my trainer was in scrubs and he was telling me to PUSHHHH !!!! COME ON, KEEP UR LEGS STRAIGHT NOW….!!! DON’T LOCK UR KNEES !!!!

NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo !!!!!

I missed my clip clop shoes, I’d probably have rammed his smiling face in with them for making the whole exercise seem sooooo ….. Awkward !!!!

And then I felt like I wanted to laugh and shoot myself in the head….

And then Maama got onto the machine, and when I saw him, it was all the more evident. (You see, thankfully, I have no potbelly….Maama has one)

After that scary exercise, we were shown curls and then taken to the AB machine.

Now I was looking forward to the ABS workout. What after the whole hoohaa about Sharukh’s 6 Pack and Aamir’s 8 Pack and Rajpal Yadav’s 32 pack, I wanted to have more than the one pack I was already having.

The AB machine is actually a bench, with two arms on the sides which rise up for you to grab on. The upper part of the bench has a hinge, and the lower part has foot pegs which are high up, (Again the delivery position). I was praying to God that my tracks didn’t have a tear because this machine was in the middle of the gym, Not in the corner like the leg press. I reassured myself that people in the gym had better things to do than stare.
I was wrong. (which will be discussed in the forthcoming post)

And the AB machine’s workout was in this manner, You lie on the bench, and put your hands up and your legs too, Sort of like your gonna crawl upside down. And then you crunch your abs by raising your neck and upper torso and getting as close to your knees as possible. This again, Is a very very critical exercise. Not because it shows your abs, That notion is wrong, Ab exercises don’t loose your belly and give you a 6 pack. Cardio burns the fat on the belly and the abs come out. The exercise just builds them and keep them under. Like Michealangelo’s words, “The sculpture was always there in the stone block, I just chipped away the unwanted stone.”

Anyway, back to the topic.. So I am doing crunches…Here’s a tip if you are going to take up gym anytime within this millennium...Try not to have gassy foods atleast 6 hours before your work out. The AB crunch has this tendency to push your stomach muscles downwards a bit. Engineers will understand the concept of Gas travelling through tubes due to the difference in pressure. Well, the intestines transport the gas and put you in a really uncomfortable position. Its hard as it is to crunch….Its harder to hold yourself back from turning the entire place into a Lethal Gas chamber. But guess what, I managed 45 crunches in the first time (15x3).

After that, we called it quits for the day. Hit the steam room and Man was it refreshing.

To come back to that factor of Hard work outs giving a feel good factor, My perspective had changed.
Actually standing in sweat, stinking and looking ridiculously bloated and puffing….gives you a high which is awesome. I was hooked. I was gonna come back tomorrow.


  1. The sculpture was always there in the stone block, I just chipped away the unwanted stone!!! You say it Hobbezy :D
    As much as I admire your Motivation Motu (ROFL it shud b MOTUvation hahahahaha) I still cant stop laughing at the minute descriptions of the torture you go through :D :P
    But thats good! good indeed! You got the deadline na for getting 18packs motu :P chalo chalo keep your chin up and the MOTUvation too! :P And dont think nobody cares( heck we love the torture :P ) I'll keep nudging as will your other friends on the blog!
    God bless the torturing trainer :P

  2. u should try calisthenics; i mean dont;

  3. Waiting for more posts! :D

  4. how do u know how dingbats squat? :o

  5. ^^being a dingbat himself..he just knows :P